September 1st, 2015, 08:00 pm

At one time, the film “Neverennaya” made a strong impression on me. When he came out on the screens, I was a student, and with my twenty-year-old mind I could not understand: why — well, why ?! - the heroine has betrayed her husband.

Husband - beautiful Richard Gere - a family man and not a loser. Chief. My wife wants and can. Not sexual real estate any, but a man full of strength and desire. True, reliable, loving. What else is a bad woman?

What made her not just sleep with a passer-by, but have a full-fledged romance with him? Fall in love. Dream. To bet on the welfare of the family, in which, in addition to her husband, there is also an eight-year-old son.

The other day, frankly talked with married friends. Some of them are changing, someone is not, but not averse, and without even realizing their own fact of full combat readiness for treason, which is sure to take place if the case presents itself.

However, there are among the friends and those in whose heads does not even come the thought of treason. These women can not be brought down by the wave of adultery, under no circumstances will they lead to the left peasant and they will not take off their pants - in reality or in fantasy.

Thought: why? Why are some willing to change their husbands, while others are not. How are wives who are capable of treason differ from those who are incapable of such?

After analyzing the introductory, I understood: husbands are different!

The point is not at all in us, in women, and not in some of our qualities. All women are one world mazana. All are capable of treason. The question is under what circumstances.

Guys, do not look for women who can not instruct you horns. All can. If you do not want to be horned, avoid circumstances in which the idea of ​​betrayal can arise in a woman’s head.

What are these circumstances?

A woman is ready to change when she is rotten. You can be a skillful lover, an interesting interlocutor, a reliable support and alpha alpha. It will not save you from the infidelity of a woman if she is rotten.

You can play on a woman's feelings, swinging her on an emotional swing. You can settle in her a sense of insecurity. Cause jealousy. But this woman bored. And this seemingly emotionally turbulent life will seem rotten to her. And then be ready to try on the horns.

Husbands of my friends who are not capable of treason are united by a common quality: high social activity in which they draw wives.

“Let's go with you there. Let's go with you here, ”- this is about these men. Today they are flying to Cuba, tomorrow they are skiing, the day after tomorrow they barbecue with friends. And everywhere they pull wives.

Wives scream: “Can we have dinner on Saturday even ?!” The boys nod: yes. Still, dinner is held in the company of friends. So by itself it turns out.

If such a husband goes on vacation for a couple with his wife, then on the very first day of rest he finds a company there for them. My wife may be outraged, but she is not rotten. She is always in the cycle of some events in which, what is important, other people are involved.

Anywhere together with her husband, like Sherochka and Masherochka, will get bored by anyone, even if she verbally aspires to this.

We are women - social creatures. We need new people and new impressions, not new pussies in bed. The women and legs are moving apart not in order to catch an orgasm, but in order to experience new impressions.

A husband who gives his wife new impressions will never be horned.

The boys, just do not have now, after reading the text, try to give your women new experiences in bed. There is not and will not be anything new.

Lead a rich lifestyle, sharing it with your wives, and they will be faithful to you. Trust me, horny!

Why do you think women change? What pushes them to treason?

The famous psychotherapist Mikhail Litvak revealed the secret of where to look for a husband, why it is impossible to adapt to him, and what is dangerous about a man who cannot live without you.

Marriage statistics recently looks like a social catastrophe: the number of divorces is almost equal to the number of marriages. According to psychologists, this happens mainly because many people get married for a variety of ridiculous reasons, except for one true reason - to build a family. So who is happy to create a happy family, and who will have to fill up the divorce statistics?

In one interview you said that there are no happy families ...

There is. But a little. I myself investigated the family. For 11 thousand families there were 3 happy. But most importantly: only happy families are normal. The rest are pathology, the cohabitation of two unfortunate people.

Is this a Russian feature?

Why? In varying degrees, pathology is everywhere.

Why so many divorces? People make mistakes in choosing a spouse?

This is because people are poorly brought up. They were not taught to think, they were not taught to choose a husband or wife. We conducted a survey - which of the explanations of love will like more. The following options were proposed: “I can't live without you,” “I will never hurt you,” “Let's pull the strap of life together.” So, 75 percent of women chose the explanation "I can not live without you." Do not you hear that this explanation is typical for a man-child or an alcoholic? But the true declaration of love, "Let's pull the strap of life together," no one liked.

What is love in general?

This is an active interest in the life and development of the object of love. That's all they say: no one to love. Do you know how to love? We have marriages in essence sucker: "I can not live without you."

And what happens to love over time, where does it go?

Over time, love is becoming stronger and stronger ... And if it was not originally there, then it becomes worse and worse.

What is the difference in the perception of marriage between a man and a woman?

A man and woman see marriage in the same way. But where did you see men and where did you see women? We have croutons and yubkonositelnitsy. So, you first need to become either a man or a woman, and after that build a family. Only a physically healthy, spiritually developed and materially accomplished person has the right to start a family. Do not deal with beggars laymen!

If the relationship began with sex, what kind of future awaits them?

Sex should happen later. And first there must be a general worldview. Love is not when looking at each other, but when looking in one direction. Canadian researchers have identified four factors that make the family strong. The first is a general worldview. The second is common gastronomic tastes. And only in third place is sex. On the fourth - the desire to stroke each other. And when a family is created through sex, there is nothing good about it.

Men often compare themselves with males and argue that adultery is obligatory ...

Changes occur due to the fact that people made a mistake in choosing a satellite. If you made a mistake and got married (got married) to the wrong one (not for that), it’s natural that someone else starts to like you.

What women do not change?

Physically healthy, spiritually developed and financially independent. Our women have three sexual disorders: pedophilia, bestiality, masochism. First, they take a man not for her husband, but for education. Secondly, they live with alcoholics. What is an alcoholic? This animal. And thirdly, they suffer from masochism: they love being bullied.

If a woman is physically healthy, financially independent, but already not young? Does she have fewer prospects?

She has more prospects! This is a woman in the juice. She has already taken place. She does not need a side dish, she needs a steak. 45-50-year-old woman in sex will give odds to the young!

How to conduct reconnaissance at the initial stage of dating and determine if “your” is a person or not?

In communication, in gestures, in the manner of dressing. Socrates said: "Tell me something, I want to see you." Already after a few phrases, you can determine who is in front of you and whether you are the same in outlook.

Should the partners have the same sexual constitution?

Well, of course. If a man needs sex for 50 minutes 3 times a day, and a woman needs 3 minutes once a month - they will fail.

If there are any discrepancies, can a woman adapt to a man or try to re-educate him?

Not. We must take the finished product, not the semi-finished product. Must marry mature people. And you can only re-educate one person - yourself. Wrong - it means you have to break up. And look for another.

Where better to look?

Only at work. When you watch a person at work, you see how it happened. Now we are working together with you, and you can make an opinion about me. And in the evening meetings or in nightclubs - a collection of liars.

Have women's needs changed lately?

Not changed in the last hundred thousand years.

What about the fact that now girls want to marry just status men?

And rightly so. Means, ripen. But it is necessary to be the most status. Unfortunately, most women have a psychology of a latent prostitute: to find a rich man to feed. And for this they plan to keep house and go to bed. Things should be called by their proper names: this is prostitution. However, there are now many men who can be called latent gigolos who are looking for rich women, but they don’t want to develop themselves.

But there is a theory that a woman should only inspire a man, create comfortable conditions for him, staying in his shadow.

You are confusing a man with a pastor. A man does not need to be inspired. He himself is inspired by his work and its result. You can not live for a woman or for a man.

And for the sake of the children?

Moreover, it is impossible ... Children are something ephemeral. Children, no matter how bad or good, still in 18-20 years from you leave. A man and a woman are closer to each other, and children are something temporary. A byproduct of our love.

As a result of divorce, women remain with this “product of love”, while men claim that they do not want to marry a woman with a child ...

For a man (and not a broader carrier) a child from his first marriage is not a problem. Why? Because he is ready to do everything for the child, if only his beloved was near. But when a woman herself believes that a child is the most important thing in life, she will never be happy in marriage.

There is an opinion that the institution of marriage is dying out, that the future is in alternative types of cohabitation. How do you feel about the guest form?

Guest marriage is not so bad. It happens that people live in a civil marriage - it's normal. But they only registered - they began to live poorly.

What is the reason for such a change?

That man wants to be free. Formal marriage binds him. Printing in the passport does not change anything for an intelligent person. And for the fool changes.

Southern Portal Health Service - Based on the Network

Betrayal of a loved one is a tragedy in a relationship. For thousands of years women are concerned with one question: why? What is the reason for treason?

The topic of adultery is always relevant. Someone caught the beloved "on hot", others just suspect something in his late wards home, others proudly declare: "No, mine is not like that, he loves me!". However, from treason, as well as from the bag with the prison, it is not worth to reprimand. Fine, if you are concerned about this topic only for general development, and there is nothing like this in your pair. Nevertheless, knowing why betrayals occur and how to prevent and recognize them, in our opinion, will not prevent any of the fair sex.

What is treason?

The concept of treason is as old as the world. It was she who became the motive of many classical (for example, "Othello") and modern works. Treason is very traumatic for the heart, insults and brings to the frenzy. And what is she?

• accidental cheating - when the connection was not planned and happened once;
• constant betrayal, or an affair on the side - in this case, the relationship is not accidental and lasts a long time.

According to psychologists, the frequency of male and female adultery is about the same. Here only men and women react to them differently. And if men perceive sex more as a physical act, then for women it is the highest point of emotional attachment. In turn, attachment arises from common interests, hobbies, in a word, occupations that form the basis of a relationship. Therefore, the betrayal of her beloved husband deeply traumatizes a woman.

For men, sex contains less emotionally - semantic content. According to psychologists, several types of men are prone to adultery. Consider them in more detail.

What men are prone to treason?

Types of men most prone to adultery:

1. "Mama's boy"  - such a man lives formed in childhood dependence on the mother. For many years, the mother was the only friend and companion of such a man. In adolescence, having become free from physical care, for example, having moved to study in another city, men of this type are very concerned about maintaining self-esteem. Dependence on the mother causes a huge "bunch" of complexes. One of them is the constant search for confirmation of her masculinity in the eyes of other women. The only way for self-affirmation for mother sons is an endless search for mistresses;

2. "Macho"  - Men of this type see their life in a constant increase in their own importance. Alas, among men the betrayal of the spouse is not a vice, but a manifestation of force. And the attention of several women to him, the only one, raises self-esteem. So the macho walks from one woman to another, the “most happy” of all;

3. "Growing old ladies"  - such men try their best to resist age. A young lover for them is just a way of saying no to years and physiology. In general, this type of behavior appears in men after 40 years. In addition to normal aging, usually at this age there is one of the personality crises associated with the overestimation of achievements. The aging womanizer needs to show the importance of not only his family and colleagues. Treason of such a man - his way to raise self-esteem;

4. “Justified by status”- such a man changes not so much because of the desire to hurt his wife, but because of his position in society. Being in a high position, a man must meet the standard adopted among colleagues and in the circle of communication. A significant part of the standard is the moral character. If at the time of the creation of Stirlitz, a family man was appreciated without the slightest flaw, now a man in a solid position without a mistress is suspicious: either he is seriously ill, or of the wrong sexual orientation. With the first, and, especially, the second category to negotiate is dangerous, they will laugh. Moreover, not only who came to the negotiations, but also the company along with the chief. And men actively use the status and sometimes give birth to two, or even three mistresses.

However, sometimes there are situations when a man changes, not related to the listed types of behavior. Let's see why this happens.

Why do men change?

Literature and cinema have worked hard on the image of the ideal man. Wherever you look, he should look sporty, look after women. At the same time, he himself does not seem to need any special conditions. Say, the strong sex does not need anything. As life shows, it was not there. Psychologists identify the following causes of male adultery:

1. Emotional discomfort at home.  In most cases, men get hard work. After returning home after a busy day, a man needs a short rest. However, in some cases he stumbles upon the image of the stronger sex already described: he is an ideal and does not need anything. The most amazing thing: men absolutely agree with him. But provided that the importance of their, male, family care woman recognizes and appreciates. And if instead of a little rest and gratitude, a woman only demands, then it's not far from treason before. If a man is not considered important in the family, he will find a place and an object of satisfaction for his self-esteem, that is, a grateful woman;

2. If a man is a henpecked.  Such a case is a separate, particularly deep manifestation of the emotional discomfort of a man. At the same time, it is not so important how much the situation actually puts pressure on him. The leading role is played by the perception of such pressure by the man himself. For example, if he has lost his job and cannot provide for his family. In this case, the woman becomes the main one in the family, she takes on the male role, and the man has to look for female affection somewhere on the side;

3. Treason wife.  Allegedly, how are you to me - and I am to you. The woman changed - the man did not yawn either. In this case, in fact, women's treason may not be, she can only seem to her husband, remember Shakespeare's Othello. But, trying to maintain self-esteem, the man is obliged to punish the traitor by giving her own pain;

4. Loss of interest in the spouse. Unfortunately, such cases are not uncommon. First of all, the loss of interest is manifested at the level of communication. Of course, each person develops in the chosen direction and their own goals. However, in some cases the interests and then the development paths of men and women less and less coincide. For example, a businessman is forced to be interested in the methods of organization and management, to understand the direction of activity. If for some time the income allowed only a man to work, the development of a woman went, for example, to cooking and poetry. Of course, men love to eat tasty food, but the details of making dinner or making words with double iambus in white verse are not interesting for a businessman. After all, in most cases they have nothing to do with business.

As a result, spouses are engaged only in personal interests, common affairs disappear. In such cases, betrayal for a man is far from a meaningful act, and goes into the category of a purely technical process - just sex without unnecessary talk.

Considering the betrayal of men, we can not ignore the attention of their women. As written above, the condition of the woman before the visit of the faithful "left" is very important. Obviously, most often the victims of male adultery are certain types of women. Consider them in more detail.

What women change men

Indeed, and how? Why do some women live with their beloved soul, while others regularly face male infidelity? Psychologists believe: relationships build and destroy together. And in men's treason there is a large proportion ... of women's behavior. According to psychologists, men change women:

• Away from the family.  In fact, the family is not limited to regular cooking, watching TV, and a common bed. This is not only a joint lunch in a cafe and romantic evenings. No, the real family begins with concessions, when it is hard for you, with compromises and decisions for the benefit of your relatives. With an understanding of the occupation of the spouse and children. If, in alliance with his beloved, there is no mutual understanding, adultery becomes a matter of technique;
• Imperious.  You can endlessly talk about the desire of women for equality, including in the family. It is possible to argue hoarsely about the right of women to a piece of power, at least over her husband's wallet. For the time being, the man will agree, and more and more often glances "left". And later he will start walking. Of course, the family, the more happy, in such a situation can not speak;
• Fatal women. Such ladies, capable of manipulating men, are also happy to some extent. Sooner or later, “cunning moves”, frank and not very manipulations, the man is bored. The understanding comes: a good union between a man and a woman will not be called marriage. The search begins for a companion who meets, if not the requirements, then at least the approximate ideas of men about normal life with a woman. Begins a series of adultery and mistresses.

What if the husband has changed?

Indeed, what to do when the pious are literally caught on hot? Sites are full of advice from family "psychologists" who demand to immediately punish the traitor. Even developed a hypothesis by which men change from impunity. Let's try to figure out how to act in this case?

Male look

Alas, most family psychologists, especially women, were not married or divorced. Whether they can give effective recommendations is a big question.

No matter how trite it sounds, but the first action when a husband is cheating is to calm down. Some women are soothed by a shopping trip, others are pacified by a cup of tea with friends. While you are burning with insult on a traitor, it is useless to take, and even less to execute decisions. After all, strong emotions are devastating, in the truest sense, the vital forces are burned out. Discussion of such a trickster who has started to run after each skirt, instead of relief, will bring even more pain and resentment, and then deprive of strength. As the Jews say, do you need it?

Then you should decide: do you want to continue the relationship, which gave a tangible crack? Take a piece of paper, divide it into two parts by a vertical line. Write down in the left column the negativity received in the relationship with the man who changed you. In the right, make a positive. No emotions, just facts. I forgot to buy flowers for my birthday - it is a fact. Resentment that deafened blown in the opera - emotions.

If negative events are more positive, restoring the relationship is meaningless. Even if it turns out again to draw the attention of the traitor to himself, unity and love will have to be forgotten. Emotionally, a man at best will remain an icy block.

It’s another thing if there are equally fewer positive and negative events, or the latter. Then there is something to save.

Although the specific actions in the case of treason men are individual, there is a general algorithm. After all, Hillary Clinton managed to save the family after the scandal of the US President with Monica Lewinsky. The algorithm has long become an open secret:

1. The wife remains for the man the most attractive. Even despite the presence of a mistress. Simply attractiveness must be emphasized. Therefore, the first thing that Hillary Clinton did after learning about her husband's betrayal from the newspapers was to go to the beautician. And the appeal to correct (who saw American women, will understand), and think through the next steps. Although the blow was still the same: the details of Bill Clinton’s treason were translated into several dozen (!) Languages ​​during the day.

2.   Find out the reasons for treason in your case. Yes, the President also has a female escort. Security guards, cleaners, secretaries ... the state is huge, as is the choice. And to change with a dozen women no health is enough. Choose one. To compare oneself with the one chosen for a petty intrigue or a single betrayal is a thankless and even harmful occupation. But to learn about the mistress as much as possible is vital. Because the rivalry for the man begins lover. And in most cases, much earlier than the wife. Mistress uses knowledge of the affairs, interests and problems of men. But the wife has a huge advantage. In most cases, the wife knows about the man much more than his mistress. And this knowledge needs to be used. Of course, if you find the “painful point” in the world perception of a man and use it several times, you will not be able to resume relations with him. And clearly show that at home is better than on the side is very important. A man should make sure: at home there is the same as that of a mistress, plus a lot of positive.

3.   The man is a man in the family, and for the mistress first thing. Mistresses are rarely recognized in such mercantile behavior that does not prevent them from using men. The higher the status of a man, the mercantile lover. Yes, the lover attentively listens to the man, but always receives more than he gives. A man needs to feel the difference between the mercantile spirit of his mistress and the sincerity of his wife.

4.   Patience, patience and more patience. In most cases, the wife finds out about her husband's infidelity after months, and sometimes years after the start of adultery. Instantly stop the affair on the side, few can. Moreover, the mistress, too, is fighting for the possession of a man and applies his methods.
  Of course, the betrayal of a man leaves a deep scar in the soul of a woman. But if the beloved has changed, then in many respects it depends on you whether you stay together. Love and be happy.

Female look

What to do if your husband "jumped into buckwheat" on the other? There are a lot of tips on this. Of course, every woman in such a situation can act on her own. But in general, there are three options for the development of events:

• forgive and let go. A woman who sees that it is no longer possible to glue a broken cup, and she will most likely not be able to forgive a man after all; she will choose a separation;
• close to all eyes. If a couple has been together for many years, it is not uncommon for a woman to choose the meek acceptance of male treason. Well, it was. Just not left the family;
• fight for your happiness. This option is perhaps the most acceptable, because it is he who can again restore the family. But this option is also the most difficult one.

Are you ready to figure out why this happened? Will you openly talk about it with your husband, find out what he feels? After all, most likely, not from a good life, he went "to the left." This means that you have to work on relationships, and, above all, on yourself.

To survive betrayal and save the family, a woman must learn to cope with their emotions. And this means daily hard work. But, believe me, he will soon bring long-awaited peace and harmony to your family. The steps to this may be:

1. No show tears and tantrums! Believe me, this is not necessary neither you nor the man. I want to cry and scream, go to the park or the forest and let your emotions out;
2. Write out all that soul. Keeping a diary of your thoughts and emotions will help a lot;
3. Get creative. It is during this period, perhaps you should start writing poetry or drawing - and you will splash out emotions, and at the same time give a new masterpiece to the world;
4. Think of a fascinating hobby;
5. Change. And first of all in the eyes. Changes must affect both the inner world and appearance. After all, who likes monotony?
6. More often be alone with my husband. Think of occasions to be together: walking, going out into the countryside, and even just jointly cleaning the apartment or cooking;
7. Come up with a new date - the day of the revival of your family;
8. Do not refuse a man in the vicinity. Punishing in this way is a big mistake, and no one will benefit from it;
9. Give him what he lacks. Let the husband see in you an irreplaceable woman! Praise him, say compliments (here we are not talking about hypocrisy, but about the fact that virtually every person will find something to praise). Talk to him heart to heart.

And remember, relationships are serious work! But its fruit is a real strong family, without deceit and betrayal. Become the only one for your husband, often pronounce your feelings, be interested in his life. Learn to trust each other again. And you will definitely succeed!

"Happiness and peace to your family!"
  Eugene and Anna Kutyavin for site site